Society and family have an enormous impact on shaping a person’s identity. From the moment individuals are born they are bombarded with ideas and expectations that force them to behave and think a certain way. The individual’s first instinct is to follow this moral code to protect themselves from being judged and perceived as anything other than an intelligent person who follows the rules. As Sigmund Freud emphasizes in “Five Lectures On Psychoanalysis,” when one’s personal thoughts and desires do not match society’s expectations, one tries to hide one’s desires by forcing them out of consciousness. In Connie’s case in “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?,” a story written by Joyce Carol Oates, she represses her identity mostly because it does not match the perception that society has for women in the American patriarchal society. Connie’s character in “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” displays the concept of the conflict between “wishful impulses” and the forces of repression, because society and her family force her to repress her sexuality. The remnants of the repression still linger on in her unconscious, causing her to desire things that are not accepted in the society she lives in.
The main psychoanalytical force that plays an important role in the development of Connie’s behavior throughout the story is repression. Connie’s mother forces her to repress her true identity because Connie is nothing like the role model that society has set for young females. Oates describes what this role model looks like by describing June:
Her sister June was twenty-four and still lived at home. She was a secretary in the high school Connie attended, and if that wasn’t bad enough – with her in the same building – she was so plain and chunky and steady that Connie had to hear praised all the time by her mother and her mother’s sisters. June did this, June did that, she saved money and helped clean the house and cooked and Connie couldn’t do anything, her mind was filled with trashy dreams.
Society and Connie’s family expect her to be just like her sister: to be well-behaved and obedient. However, Connie is just a fifteen-year-old who has wishful impulses in the form of sexual desires and wants to receive attention from others. Despite the bad relationship that Connie has with her family she seeks their acceptance, which is why she unconsciously represses the side of herself that is carefree and has desires; when she is at home, she tries to be what her family and society say that she should be. In Lecture II Freud claims that when a wishful impulse emerges and it is incompatible with the ethical and aesthetic of an individual’s personality, it becomes repressed and pushed out of consciousness (Freud, 2212). However, the repressed wishful impulses still exist in the unconscious and when something triggers them, a substitute is sent into consciousness and with it the same feelings of unpleasure (Freud, 2215). This is illustrated in Connie’s character; although she represses her sexuality when she is with her parents, when she is with boys they are heightened. When she is with boys she is more like herself but not completely; she is still reserved because she fears that people will judge her for not meeting the societal standards.
The consequence of the failed repression of Connie’s wishful impulses can be observed at the end of the story when she decides to leave with Arnold Friend. When Arnold Friend’s car approached her house, she was not concerned about a stranger being in her drive when she was home alone, instead, she was concerned on how she looked: “Her heart began to pound and her fingers snatched at her hair, checking it, and whispered, ‘Christ. Christ,’ wondering how bad she looked”(Oates). This shows how much she cares about her physical appearance; this could be a physical symptom of the wishful impulse trying to make its way out of unconsciousness. In lecture II Freud asserts that “Alongside the indication of distortion in the symptom, we can trace in it the remains of some kind of indirect resemblance to the idea that was originally repressed (Freud, 2215). Throughout Connie’s interaction with Arnold he showed her he had investigated her; he knew her name and specific details on every member of her family. This should have given her a red flag but instead of trying to end the conversation after he asked her to go for a run with him and she saying no, she just stood there talking to him. She kept entertaining him because he “reactivated” the unconscious wishful impulse and the substitute for the repressed idea caused her to enjoy the attention that she was getting from him.
Connie’s behavior in “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” can be attributed to the wishful impulses that she was forced to repress in order to please her family and society. The ending that she meets in the story is a result of the pressure that society puts on women by telling them how to act and how to think. When society represses the sexuality of women, it not only affects them emotionally and mentally, but it also makes them susceptible to danger such as sexual violence. The internal struggles that are ultimately created by repression could lead to women making unconscious decisions that have the potential of destroying their lives. In the case of Connie, she would not have been the victim of sexual violence if her wishful impulses were allowed to have a normal discharge.
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